Kansas

When a character walks into a scene, he has a certain set of expectations and goals in mind. Preventing the character from achieving his objectives are obstacles, which can either be physical or figurative in nature. When these obstacles are met, the character proceeds to take actions to overcome those challenges. Whether the character is successful or not, there is an outcome that progresses the story.

I came to Japan with a completely different impression of what the teaching experience would be like. Up until this last Thursday, everything had been going swimmingly. My lessons were timely, the kids were paying attention, everyone was laughing and drinking champagne (metaphorically). And then last Friday rolled around. What a hellish day.

Things started as usual in my first period. Ran the lesson, played some games. Good kids. Second period is where it went down hill. Ten minutes in, there was a fight. Two boys crying, and the rest of the class erupting into hoots and hollers because of that. The assistant and I tried to get the class under control, and eventually we did, but it was one long uphill battle.

That period couldn't have ended sooner. Third period: The exact same thing! Another fight, one boy crying, another girl crying because the picture she was drawing for the lesson wasn't working out. The class erupted once again, and once more I struck up a hike to reach the top of that ever-so-tall and looming hill known as authority.

Third period over. On to the fourth. And guess what? More chaos! No fights this time, luckily. Instead, two observers from the board of education showed up for a random check-in. They arrived right in the middle of the class's worst and most disruptive moment. Things were a complete disaster, and the observers left several minutes into the volcano's eruption -- just enough time to see panic breaking out into the city. I can only imagine the words they chose for their reports.

The most difficult part about my whole situation is that I am not allowed to discipline. I am not allowed to raise my voice. I am there to teach English, and nothing more. The regular teacher or teaching assistant is the one who is supposed to get a hold on the students when they start getting rowdy. My particular assistant that day was not so assisting, so I was practically stuck to myself trying to herd thirty children into a cooperative mood by using sugary "please's" and stern parent-like looks of disapproval.

I've never been in a position like that before. I've never been in the middle of a sea of demon-like obstacles, each so great that to tackle even one would be to tackle one more than I can currently manage.

My experience with children is low. True, I was a child once; for 13 years I probably made somebody else's life as crazy as mine was last Friday, so I am at least knowledgeable of the matter in that regard. But experience in actually overseeing the well-being of a single child (or thirty at a time, in my case) is quite new to me. I am stuck between trying to be a friend of the students, and trying to be their teacher. So far I have found it near impossible to try and be both.

I will need to try harder.